by
An alcove most don't know about,
But there for some to use,
Holds copies of the occult texts
To study when they choose.
You'll find the Necronomicon
As well as many copies
Of esoteric volumes stored
On stiff computer floppies.
Pnakotic Manuscripts are there
As are the Eltdown Shards,
Both out of sight but listed on
Extensive index cards.
The Cultes des Goules you'll find despite
The shape that it is in,
Much like the De Vermis Mysteriis
Of good ol' Ludvig Prinn.
Die Unaussprechlichen Kulten,
Used once by elder sages,
Is near the Book of Eibon with
Its brittle, yellowed pages.
You'll find The R'lyeh Text to be
Just slightly damp and musty,
While all The G'harne Fragments sit
With pages soiled and dusty.
Some hundreds more are there, of course,
Besides these favored few,
Providing eldritch referencing
To students such as you.
The staff takes expeditions to
Remote and secret places
Unvisited by modern man
But known to ancient races.
One venture to Antarctica * made
Some eighty years ago,
Resulted in disaster in
The frigid ice and snow.
Discoveries were made that struck
Sheer madness to the brain
Of some who made that awful trek,
Returning here insane!
Professor Lake referred to them
As cryptic Elder Ones,
Explaining they had came to Earth
From unknown, distant suns.
The faculty is rather strange
In things they say and do,
And some are quite incompetent
In educating you.
If you should register to take
Some special courses here,
Take heed of one professor who
The students deathly fear.
You'll know him by his fingers which
Have webbing in between,
And flabby, frog-like lips upon
The foulest face you've seen
A green complexion also is
A clue for you to scram,
And find, when testing time is near,
Some other place to cram.
Please mind your manners, study hard,
Stay locked inside at night,
And you will likely be okay
With cause for little fright.
Still, check behind you now and then,
Sit backed against a wall,
And do not linger needlessly
Within the shower stall.
If these precautions you should take
I'd almost guarantee
That four years hence you'll proudly get
A well deserved degree.
* At the Mountains of Madness
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Created: October 28, 2006